THE OFFICIAL SITE OF
I'd like a bomb
with that pizza.
ZONES PULLED INTO A parking space just outside his apartment building. The food from Sylvia’s filled his car with the scent of fried catfish, mashed potatoes, collard greens and cornbread. His stomach growled as he shifted the car into Park. It had barely come to rest when he hopped out and dashed for the door, slipping the key into the lock. He paused to run his hand over the damaged jamb before pushing through the door and flipping on a light over the dining table. Zones hung his briefcase over a chair and dropped the plastic bag of food on top the table. The foam lid of the container popped open as it collided with a pizza box, releasing even more of the soul food aroma. Zones stuck his nose over the steam rising from the plate and took a deep breath. In one smooth motion, he sat down, snagged a fork and stuck it into a load of greens.
Zones took a moment to grab the plate from the bag, clicked on the TV and moved over to his bed. Just as he was about to lie down, someone
knocked. Dropping the plate onto the bed, he walked back to the door, peered through the peephole and spied Detective Rome standing there. I wonder what she wants. Zones opened the door.
“Detective, what’re you doing here? If this is about me telling the captain that your perps didn’t fit the profile of the bomber….” Detective
Rome said nothing; she just stared at him. “Detective, are you okay?” She took one step forward, wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him hard on the lips. Zones backed inside and closed the door behind him, carrying her with her legs wrapped around him. They rolled up against the wall, locked together as their kissing intensified. “Detective…I don’t understand…” he muttered through the kissing.
Detective Rome released her lip-lock on Zones. “Shhhhh,” she hushed him, pressing her index finger to his lips. “I thought you were the strong
and silent type. You’re talking more than a babbling baby wanting a snack. Now, are we gonna do this or not?”
“Sure…fine…but when was I no longer the dick you thought I was?”
“But I hope you are that dick, Dr. Zones.” Their eyes now locked, a long pause passed between them. Detective Rome tried unsuccessfully to
hold back a mischievous smile. She was puzzling to Zones. Her affection for him came seemingly out of nowhere. He would normally not give a damn, but she caught him off guard. “Okay, Doctor. If it helps you to get cranked up, I think I misjudged you.”
“Yeah. You know, I thought you where one thing when you were actually another.”
“A dick like I said.”
“More like a prick. There is a difference.”
“What exactly is the difference?”
“One sticks the other pokes.”
“Thanks for clearing that up.”
Detective Rome moved in for another kiss before pulling back. “Oh yeah, I loved the way you punched out the congressman’s aid. It turned me on.”
“I see more fights in my future.” Zones grabbed two handfuls of Detective Rome’s ass. He walked toward the bed with her draped over him.
He plopped her down at the foot of the bed, crawled on top of her and ripped away the jacket she wore.
“Wait a minute.” She sniffed. “What is that smell?”
“I don’t smell anything.” Zones bent down for another kiss.
“Have you been eating onions?”
He held his cupped hands to his mouth, blowing into them. “They were in the greens.”
“You’re gonna have to do something about that.” Zones looked at her, puzzled. “Go on, I’ll be here when you get back.”
Zones eased from the bed, backed out of the room and ran into the bathroom. He brushed his teeth and gargled in record time. When he
returned to the bedroom, Detective Rome was sampling a slice of pizza.
“…AAGH, meat. And it’s cold.” She dropped the slice back into the box.
“Where did that come from?”
“The pizza? It isn’t yours?”
Zones ran to the door and snatched it open, feeling along the jamb edge. He scanned the parking lot before shutting the door, raced back to the
bedroom and searched the closet.
“What are you looking for?”
“Someone has been in here.”
“How do you know that?”
“The pizza, it’s not mine and there are marks on my door. I think it was pried open.”
“Is there anything missing?”
“Not that I can see.”
Detective Rome walked back to the bed and sat on the edge of it. “Come here.” She unbuttoned her shirt. Zones smacked his lips and made his
way over to her. She lay back on the bed. He leaned over her. “Shit, your bed is hard.”
“That’s not the only thing that is.”
“…Feels like something is underneath this mattress. Get up.”
“Get up?” Zones noticed the swell in the bed. “No, don’t move. Stay very still.” He eased up from the bed, slid his hand along the mattress and
probed it, looking for something. He moved to the foot of the bed and raised the end of the mattress, seeing hard metal peeking out from underneath it. “Shit.” He locked eyes with Detective Rome.
“What is it?”
“A bomb, I think. Keep still. I have to find something to use to maintain the pressure.” Zones searched around his apartment.
“You? Hell no. Call the goddamn bomb squad.”